The days are long gone when all that mattered was the qualification you had. Innovative businesses, intelligent business owners, recognise the value emotional intelligence or EQ has, and it has indeed become a highly sought after commodity in business. If you speak to some of the most successful people, they will tell you they value the levels of EQ more than IQ. They love attitude over technical skills. You can teach and learn technical skills; you cannot learn the right attitude.
Studies were undertaken at the University of Wisconsin, and Harvard Business School suggests that those with high EQ and average IQ outperform those with high IQ and low EQ. As a rule of thumb, they also determined that those with high EQ often make the better team player.
All that said, you can learn and develop your EQ unlike IQ which will change marginally with age but will remain fundamentally the same. Your EQ can be increased significantly with some commitment and work. That is one of the single most important lessons to learn. If you can build your EQ it opens many doors for you.
If nothing else, we should consider the pages you have read so far in this book and the importance we put on mindset. Imagine then how your mood improves and changes when you understand and control the emotions and elements that collectively are referred to as EQ or emotional intelligence.
We should define the individual components that go into the collective EQ we speak of to become a fully rounded business leader and create the sustainable and exceptional results most of us desire. We need to recognise the importance of not just understanding but adopting the skills that make up the components of emotional intelligence, they are:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Empathy
- Motivation
- Social skills
Self Awarenesss
In this regard, self-awareness refers to your capability to be aware of your own emotions and identify them. This also refers to the skill of recognising the emotions in others. As you can probably imagine, this is a precious skill to possess.
Self-Regulation
Refers to your ability to control your own emotions and keep things in balance.
Empathy
To understand the feelings of others and see things from their perspective based on how they are feeling. Not to be confused with sympathy.
Motivation
This refers to self-motivation, despite the challenges faced. It also relates to resilience. People with high EQ find it easier to motivate others when they possess these skills.
Social Skills
Refer to the ability to recognise and influence the emotions in others. It also refers to the ability to connect with others and become part of their cohort and make others feel part of your group.
I define EQ as the ability, recognise and be aware that emotions can and do drive people’s behaviour and greatly impact them. This impact can be seen positively and negatively, depending on the feeling and the circumstances. EQ is all about how we learn to recognise and manage these emotions, both our own and the feelings of others. managing emotions is especially important in situations where we are under pressure or stress; for example, you might include:
- Giving and receiving feedback
- Dealing with challenging people or relationships
- Not having enough resources
- Navigating and or managing change
- Working through setbacks and failure
These are the things most of us will encounter regularly in our day-to-day business relationships, so being aware and developing our skills in this area is of great importance.A big part of being in business is building our resilience and I feel this is important enough to be included in the mindset section.
Resilience
No matter how many times I have been knocked back and, in some cases, knocked down, I have always managed to get back on track and focus on the future rather than the past. That is not to say the past is not a significant influence. Of course, it is. For it is in the past that I find all the valuable lessons I have learnt along the way.
So why is it then that others who have walked a similar path to me have given up or failed to get up after being knocked down and trying again? Why do some suffer great hardship but not falter while others find it difficult to move on?
What is resilience, which can carry them through the hardship to success, while others seem never to recover once their confidence has been knocked back? This is not just in business but in life and relationships too.
Why do some companies buckle under pressure while others just bend and ultimately bounce back? The truth is that little is known about this subject, and I am sure that in years to come, more research will help to reveal more about what resilience truly is.
Future research will better understand why some have it while others do not. One thing I am clear on is the answer lies in the psychology of the human mind. Equally, I believe we all have the key to the door; we just need to recognise that fact and learn how to use it.
The buzz in business today
There is a buzz about resilience in business today, more than ever before. It is undoubtedly a hot topic on the agenda of many business leaders that I talk to regularly during mastermind and mentoring meetings. As I am writing this, it strikes me that you realise you have resilience after the fact. It is not until you have to experience the knock-backs and knock-downs that you will know if you have this resilience or not.
What is clear to me and many others in business is this resilience is vitally important. We should all want to improve our abilities to bounce back. We should also all want to hire people into our business that have this capability.
There are many CEO’s that I have had direct relationships with, particularly when I was heading up the Pittsburgh based business, where they have clearly stated that above all other things, they value resilience. In some cases, more than education, more than training and more than experience. You see, the fact is the level of resilience you possess will determine more than anything else the levels of success you’ll experience. Strength will determine who succeeds and who fails.
Resilience plays a significant role in individual mental health. There are also many expert opinions and empirical evidence that supports this point of view. That is one of the reasons I have emphasised this subject. It cannot and should not be ignored.
There are several common factors that we can recognise in those that possess resilience. Examples include humour; often this can be pretty dark when surrounded by adverse conditions—also the ability to form attachments to others and gain their support and help.
While it may be true to say that some people are born more resilient than others, this can be taught, learnt and developed in the individual, providing they are open to such learning and development. There is little doubt that many people become more resilient as they increase with age and, of course, experience.
When looking at resilience, we can identify three common characteristics in all of those that possess it, and they are as follows:
- An acceptance of reality
- Strongly held values
- The ability to improvise
Of course, you can bounce back from adversity with just one or two of these, but the truly resilient will show all three in abundance. That is something for you to work on, assuming you need to. We should look at these three elements in a little more detail.
Reality
Most people who think about it will agree that resilience does stem from a positive attitude. That is undoubtedly part of the mix, but only as long as the positive attitude is based in reality. When blind optimism distorts your perception of reality, this does not lead to resilience. In fact, in adverse conditions, this distortion of reality can spell disaster. This is pointed out in the work of Jim Collins, particularly in his book ‘Good to Great, which should be included on your reading list, in my view.
Rather than fairing well, the over-optimistic often fail to stay the course, suffering instead from disappointment. Having aspirations and challenging goals is good, but only if they build on the foundations of reality.
In the most successful companies, you will find that the most resilient of executives all have a sober and down-to-earth view of those things that could spell failure for them and their business. You could say a complete lack of those rose-tinted glasses.
Please don’t overcook this; optimism certainly has its place; a sense of possibility is valuable; it just needs to be seated firmly in the real world rather than some mythical fantasy land the less informed seem to frequent.
It is healthy for you to ask, am I being realistic in my view of the world around my business? You need to be able to understand and indeed accept your situation. This is why I believe the Rainmakers Club mastermind facilities are so critical. most people, and you don’t want to be most people, will slip into denial as a defence mechanism and therefore ignore the reality of the situation.
Facing, and I mean facing the reality of your situation, can be very unpleasant and indeed tiring. That is why so many choose denial and blind optimism, not based on anything like reality.
That is also why so many of our connections will say one thing to us and something completely different to others when talking about what we do. This lack of candour is a real issue in business. You can be candid and still earn respect and win friends. In fact, if you’re candid, you may have fewer friends, but they will be closer to you and more meaningful and not just a number to boast about.
The search for meaning, strong values
This second building block of resilience is very closely linked to the first. Those with the most vivid values and meaning to their lives are the people who tend to show more strength, they are less likely to throw their hands in the air and give up at the first signs of duress.
They are also unlikely to announce exclamations, such as why is this happening to me. People do this because they see themselves as a victim. They see the hardships they experience but do not use them as learning opportunities. The more resilient a person is, the more they devise constructs about their suffering to create some sort of meaning for themselves and others.
most experts in human psychology seem to agree that the way resilient people build bridges from present-day hardships to a better-constructed future makes the present more manageable for them. This tactic effectively gets rid of the feeling of overwhelm that can be experienced in the present when dealing with some adversity. I can say with confidence that this has worked well for me, and I have seen it work for others. It can work for you too.
This is why is it so important to take yourself out of today and into tomorrow. Instead of concentrating on the issues of the day, you work toward the goal for tomorrow and, in so doing, manage what is on your plate today. Don’t miss-read this. I am not suggesting stepping away from reality but addressing it while focussing on the vision of tomorrow.
In my view, a strong belief system with a clear purpose for the overall journey and the guiding values are of vital importance in the development of resilience.
Finding meaning in your environment is an essential aspect of developing resilience. Therefore it comes as no surprise to learn that many of the most resilient companies and people possess robust value systems. Strong values infuse an environment with meaning and purpose. It is the meaning and purpose that helps to create resilience.
The value systems of some of the most resilient companies changes little, if at all, over the years. I would even say they are used as a crutch to lean on in difficult times.
I also want to point out that it is not so much about the content as it is about the belief in the values and goals. As history shows us, some very resilient companies have not always been the most ethical in values.
What is clear to see is ethical, or not, the most resilient companies may well change their mission, and their strategy as the world of business dictates you must, to stay ahead of the game. The beliefs and values never do change. They are a constant and keep the company in the domain of forward-thinking reality.
“Resilience is not good or bad. It is just resilience, the ability to be robust under extreme conditions or enormous stress and change.”
Chris Batten Author &C’s of why
Improvisation
This third building block of resilience is the ability to do whatever is at hand. Or if you prefer a kind of inventiveness, an ability to improvise with the circumstances you are faced with and do all you can to get the best possible result under the circumstances.
When things are tough, perhaps what you do not expect is high levels of creativity. In times of harsh conditions or when they are under threat, the most resilient of businesses tend not to be creative but rather to show a remarkable ability to improvise their way out of trouble.
Resilience and you
There are two ways to become more resilient. One is by talking to yourself and the other by retraining your brain. This idea of talking to yourself is not as bizarre as it may first sound and comes from some recognised and empirically proven psychological techniques.
When I say talk to yourself, what I am referring to is you giving yourself a cognitive intervention. If you prefer, consider it as counter defeatist thinking with an optimistic attitude. Challenge your negative thinking, and replace it with a positive outlook.
I am glad to say that significant failures only come along rarely in our lives. But there is still the need to bounce back from the more frequent challenges we may face. I think it is true to say that we are all faced with irritating upsets as business leaders. Resilience is the answer, and to gain that resilience, you need to retrain your brain. Fair warning, here comes the technical bit!
The brain, your brain, has its unique mechanism for bouncing back. With a bit of concerted effort you can upgrade your brain’s ability to bounce back from the downers life will throw at you.
Whenever you get upset to the point that you say and do things that you later regret, and we all do that, right? Whenever this is the case, it is a sure sign that the part of your brain called the amygdala, the brains radar for danger and the trigger to fight or flight, has hijacked the logical part of the brain. The key to your resilience lies in how quickly you can recover from that hijacked state.
The key for you is to recognise the warning signals and take control so that you can bounce back quickly. The answer for many comes in the form of mindfulness practices. When I was first introduced to these techniques, I was sceptical as many of my age group and gender tend to be. I was willing, however, to give it a go. After all, there must be something in it if so many others talk about it.
I soon discovered that these mindfulness techniques actually work; all you have to do is take them seriously and give them time to work. I have already written about mindfulness techniques a few pages ago, but it is worth revisiting if you need a reminder.
You need to give this exercise at least eight weeks to become habitual and effective. This is not some mumbo-jumbo. It has been empirically proven to work in many studies. That is why so many people are talking about the subject of mindfulness.
In one study detailed by the Harvard Business Review, employees had shifted their capabilities to deal with issues making them more resilient, and it was noticeable within the first eight weeks of using the technique I have written about earlier in this book.
I want to reiterate the importance of giving this time to work but then recognising the difference it makes to you and your ability to bounce back quickly. In other words, your resilience.
The subject of mindfulness has been steadily gaining credence in business circles, and for good reason. Your resilience can and will be improved by learning and practising these mindfulness exercises regularly.
Evaluate and strengthen
In general we think far too little about how to improve our businesses’ performance and resilience. We have probably all poured over spreadsheets, ratios and plans for our company to make them better, stronger and more able to weather the storms we encounter. Conversely, how much time do we spend on doing the same for ourselves? How much time do you spend strengthening your ability to adapt and grow?
Conclusion: there is no doubt we are the key to our success and therefore, we should certainly be investing in ourselves and strengthening our resolve and resilience.
Like money, resilience is not something that grows on trees; if you are low on resilience, you can’t just pick some more when you need it. The only way to gain more resilience is to act and think correctly. We do invariably become what we think about most, I know, I am repeating myself. Still, I make no apology for repeating perhaps the most straightforward but most valuable snippet of information that truly is a game-changer for all of us, no exceptions!
“You do become what you think about most.”
Chris Batten
The key then is to think and act in the right way. This means creating and keeping a positiveness to your thoughts, grounded but positive. This requires you to involve yourself in positive interactions, events and memories. I mention these in particular as they are known to boost resilience. We can also add to this list the joyous impact gratitude has on the development of resilience and general happiness.
While these benefit the strengthening of resilience, they can also assist in the reduction of anxiety, reduce the symptoms of illness, and improve the quality of your sleep. All of which collectively help in your levels of resilience.
Have you noticed how many successful people keep journals? Have you also noted that many of them, despite modern technology, use paper and pen to write in manual journals rather than using the tech?
This is not just a fashion or idiosyncrasy; there is a strong foundation of evidence that supports this action and the building of resilience. Let me explain. When you commit positive interactions, events and memories to the written word, they will register higher value than other non-written methods of recording your thoughts.
I have tried both digital and paper. These days I use the form-based journal, and while it took me a while to get used to the discipline of writing the daily notes, I can vouch personally for the value in doing so and how it has helped with my resilience and overall mindset.
Resilience is also helped by the people you choose to surround yourself with; again I make no apology for the repetition of this point. Of all the things that we do not have control of, you would think this would inspire us to nurture those items we can control. Like the people, we bring in close to us, for example. Sadly this is not always the case.
The quality of the company you keep will and does have a significant impact on your attitude and levels of resilience. So the obvious but most crucial advice is to select, I mean select who you surround yourself with, do it with great care and consideration based on your journey and the future.
Finally, for this part, it is also essential that you don’t just take the notes in your journal but that you regularly look back over them and review areas for improvement and how to do more of the things that make you happy. I am very lucky in this regard, as I love what I do all the time. This is not luck but how I have chosen to live my life. You might say I choose to live it in a way that provides me with the most resilience. Possibly a throwback to my army days?
Criticism is your coach & mentor
To one extent or another, we all dislike being the recipient of criticism. But to become more resilient, you need to understand that feedback is a crucial component in improving performance. I know it is evident, most of this is. The fact that it is obvious doesn’t mean that we accept it. Feedback develops talent, aligns expectations, solves problems, guides personal growth and, therefore the bottom line in your business. That, in my eyes, makes feedback essential.
All that said, it is a fact that feedback doesn’t always work in every business. Let us look at some published statistics. Only 36% of managers complete appraisals correctly and on time. In a recent survey, 55% of those questioned said that their last check had been inaccurate or unfair. One in four admitted that they dread the process of review and assessment.
It gets worse when senior HR executives were asked about their most significant performance management challenges, some 63% cited managers’ inability or unwillingness to have difficult feedback discussions—coaching and mentoring are almost non-existent in the central or uneven and inconsistent at best.
I appreciate that these comments appear to be more relevant to the more significant business, rather than the start-up and micro business, and that may be so, but I want you to consider this point of view.
Bigger businesses are getting it wrong because they have always got it wrong, and now it is part of their culture to get it wrong. We can make sure that is not the case with you and your business by getting it right from the get-go.
It is clear from this that there is excellent scope for improvement; it is also clear to me that improvement of these aspects is only half the battle. The other challenge is getting the receiver to absorb and act on what they hear.
many, if not most of us, will switch off or defend when we feel we are being criticised rather than taking it as an opportunity to learn and improve. The receiver controls whether the feedback is effective or not, based on how they choose to react to that feedback.
The key is to stop treating feedback as pushed and instead improve their ability to pull. The reality is that most people find it challenging to deal with criticism, even when it is well-intended. Imagine the difference it would make if you as an individual looked to pull such feedback in, knowing in so doing you would learn and improve as a result. That would make a genuine difference to most of us, yet we still hear criticism and immediately put the barriers up and go into defence mode.
The skills needed to accept feedback and use it constructively and filter it correctly are all learnable. They are all seated in the central theme of emotional intelligence, the same place that resilience can be found.
Once you can control your emotional triggers, you can start to encourage feedback that will help you improve performance, your own, and of course your business performance.
Take the seemingly uncontrollable emotion our of recieving feedback and take advantage of new learning opportunities
Chris Batten Author od The 7C’s of Why
What makes feedback so hard to take?
I think this belongs between some central human needs, the need to learn and grow and be accepted. As a result, even a seemingly benign suggestion can leave you feeling anxious, angry or threatened. Let’s not pretend; we all have felt this way when getting feedback.
Getting better at receiving feedback has to start with your understanding and then managing your feelings. In reality, there are only three triggers you need to be concerned about, these are:
- Truth triggers
- Relationship triggers
- Identity triggers
The content of the feedback sets truth triggers off!
When assessments or advice seem off base, unhelpful, or simply untrue, you will feel indignant, wronged and even angry.
Relationship triggers
These are tripped by the person providing the feedback. Exchanges are often coloured by what you believe about the person giving the feedback and how you feel about previous interactions, their knowledge and expertise. In this case, you might reject their input because of who they are. Whereas if someone else was delivering it, you might accept it.
Identity triggers
These are all about your relationship with yourself. Whether the feedback is right or wrong, wise or witless, it can be devastating if it causes your sense of who you are to come undone. When this is the case, you will struggle with feelings of overwhelm; you’ll be defensive and off-balance.All of these responses are natural and, of course reasonable; in some cases, they are even unavoidable. The solution is to recognise what is happening and learn how to benefit from the feedback even when it sets off one or more of your triggers. Not easy, I know, but then to be exceptional is just that, extraordinary.
Six steps for accepting feedback
Being able to take feedback well is a process of sorting and filtering. One thing is sure you need to understand the other persons point of view. This may well mean you have to experiment and try new ideas to cope and manage your feelings.You will also need to discard or shelve genuinely misdirected critiques that are not helpful. But be warned, it is almost impossible to do any of these things from inside a triggered response.
The six steps below will help you avoid throwing the valuable feedback out with the bad. Or just as damaging, accepting and acting on comments that you would be better off discarding.
Know your tendancies
You have been getting feedback for all of your life, and therefore there will be patterns to how you respond. Do you defend, argue, or maybe strike back? Perhaps you are one of those who seethe on the inside but on the outside sweetly smile. Perhaps you get teary or possibly get righteous indignation? With all these reactions, time will probably play a role. This is often where your immediate response creates regret with time.
I have personally found it is often best to sleep on the feedback before choosing what to do with it or how to react. The passage of time often gives us a better or perhaps more sound understanding of the situation. Not to mention a more level headed and emotionally stable response.
The difference between the ‘what’ and the ‘who.’
If the feedback I am getting is on point and the advice is sound, it doesn’t matter who delivers it. Sadly that opinion which is shared by many is in fact misleading. It does matter who is providing the message to you.
It matters because when you add to the mix of feedback the kind of relationship you have with the person giving it to you, things change. The reason is that you will apply the nature of your relationship with that person and how you feel about them, and this will short-circuit the learning process.
To avoid this, you need to get used to separating the message from the messenger, and then you need to consider both separately. This is not easy, and as and when you try it, you will discover how difficult it is. Your emotional brain railroads your logical brain. It does take time; it does take practice. Don’t give up on this too soon!
Lean toward coaching
Feedback can be either evaluative or more coaching in style; the difference is clear. Evaluative will tell you that you have scored five on the scale, whereas coaching will tell you how to improve. We all need both types in reality. Evaluations tell you where you stand, what to expect and what is expected of you, while coaching will help you learn, understand and perform at a higher level than you have previously.
It can sometimes be challenging to separate one from the other, and it is often the case that good suggestion or if you prefer coaching points are treated as if they were evaluations and ignored by the recipient as too uncomfortable to face, rather than as a valued suggestion for improvement. Feeling judged is likely to set off your identity triggers, which can lead to anxiety which can drown out the opportunity to learn. So whenever you can, sort the feedback toward coaching points more than the evaluation. This will improve your resilience.
Unpack your feedback
It is often the case that the feedback you receive is not immediately apparent, is it valid and of use to you? So the smart thing to do before you reject or accept it is to do some analysis to better understand the content.
It is essential to avoid the snap judgement and instead focus on the exploration of where the feedback is coming from and where it is going; in this way, your approach to reviewing the feedback is more considered and stable.
Ask for just one thing
Feedback is less likely to set off your emotional triggers if you request it and direct it too. In other words, do not wait for the formal review, instead find opportunities to get bite-sized coaching tips. Request this from several people to give you a more rounded and broader view. Do not invite criticism with big unfocused questions, for example, “Do you have any feedback for me?” make the process more manageable by asking a colleague, “What’s one thing you see me doing (or not doing) that holds me back?”
The person you ask may give you the first thing that comes to mind or the most important thing on their list. Either way, you’ll get concrete information and can tease out more specifics at your own pace.
Research shows that those who explicitly seek critical feedback get higher performance ratings. The question is, why is that the case?
“Seek out feedback, ask for it, then listen and learn the lessons, there is always something to learn.”
Chris Batten Author The 7C’s of Why
This is mainly because someone who is asking for coaching is more likely to take what is said to heart and seek genuine improvement. Also, when you ask for feedback, you not only find out what others think about you, you also influence how they see you. Soliciting constructive criticism communicates humility, respect, passion for excellence, and confidence all in one go.
Small Experiments
Once you have gained the feedback you have requested and understood it, you may still have difficulty understanding which bits of advice will help you and which will not.
The answer is to design small experiments to find out. Even if you doubt the value of the feedback, it is still worth testing validity through experimentation. There is no doubt in my mind that your growth depends on your ability to pull value from criticism despite your natural responses and your willingness to seek out even more advice and coaching. Remember, you are the most critical factor in your development. If you’re determined to learn, then learn you will.
Keep getting up
As a leader in business, you will face many challenging tests, none more challenging or more painful than recovering from a career disaster. Regardless of the cause, the true leader does not cave in. Defeat will create more energy to rejoin the fray with more incredible determination and vigour; that is undoubtedly the case in my own experience.
Leaders who cannot recover tend to blame themselves and are often tempted to dwell on the past rather than look to the future. This is not always the case or at least only partially the case. However, leaders, in general, tend to get caught in their web of self-blame or negative self-talk, preventing them from moving on from the past in many cases.
This is often contributed to by friends and family, who may try to lay blame to make sense of the chaos surrounding the disaster. Sadly, their advice can often be more damaging than it is helpful. In every culture, the ability to transcend life’s adversity is an essential part of becoming a good and effective leader in business.
You must decide how to fight back
It is essential to understand that you need to choose and fight your battles selectively. If you fight every action nobody will take you seriously, and you just become part of the background noise or someone that just can’t let go of the past.
The decision you have to be making is, do you battle, or do you put it behind you and move on? The decision should be just that, a decision rather than a knee- jerk reaction. People with resilience will think things through before reacting. Fight selectively and fight with care.
The characteristic needed is the one that drives your need to keep getting up. Each time you are knocked down, pause, get up and start moving forward without letting the past pull you back. Learn, yes, dwell on the failure, no.
To be resilient, you need to get beyond the anger and denial as quickly as possible. The most crucial step in recovery from a knock-back is confronting and acknowledging the failure. Consider the failure as the beginning, not the end. Do this because a comeback is always a possibility worth your time and attention.
Look to the future; preemptive actions are far better than reactive, even if they only take a step back and consider the situation, reflecting on what to do next.
Help others, those around you, family, friends and other colleagues, to understand they do not need to avoid you, and you are able and willing to accept help and, of course, what sort of assistance you are looking for.
Know your own story and get the narrative right and consistent. Reputation building requires you to tell and retell your story to get your account of events out there and explain your downfall; above all be open, consistent and have integrity.
Bringing others into the battle
Whether you fight or make a tactical withdrawal for a while, it is essential to engage others to assist you in battle right at the start of the process. That is because these people can all play a pivotal role in the recovery you seek after a knock-back. They can assist you with getting things back on track. This is why it is so important to select with care and surround yourself with the right people from the start, as I have previously said on a few occasions now.
When it comes to resilience and the recovery from a significant setback, your friends and acquaintances can fulfil a significant role in providing you with support, encouragement and advice to aid in the rally. Those who care for you and understand you can help you gain the proper perspective on the actual situation. It is also worth considering that you are far more likely to be candid when you are working with these people.
Having and using candour is an essential aspect of building your levels of resilience. Candour in all things should be practised. Candid, yes, but always with consideration and respect for others. I made a point of mentioning acquaintances and friends for one fundamental reason. It has been proven in studies that acquaintances are, in actual fact, more helpful in these circumstances than close friends and family. This is because they have less to lose and are more likely to be truly candid with you.
How you build relationships also has a significant impact on how well you recover. Those who find it easy to create an extended network of acquaintances also find a broader resource to assist them in recovery, gaining them even more resilience to setbacks.
Recover your status
The reality is that it is not enough to recruit others to advance your position. To launch your comeback, you must take action to win back the support of a wider audience. To facilitate and manage this, you must regain what some refer to as your charismatic status.
If you’re doing an excellent job of leadership while working in and on your business, you will have created a persona that confers a larger-than-life presence. This can be achieved with the communication of your dream or if you prefer your vision. This is another reason I place such emphasis on creating your vision in much of my writing.
When those around you can see a vivid picture of your vision, and they can see how they can both help and be helped, that is when the magic can happen. That is what we should all be striving for.
If, or should that be when, your dream, or vision, is accepted, that is when you will create some renown. If for whatever reason, your public image is discarded, you will suffer the loss of both your public and private dream and, with it, your public identity.
That is why after a significant career setback or disaster, you can only bounce back if you can rebuild your charismatic stature. That is the public reputation with which you previously created success. A big part of achieving this is getting your story out there in the public domain. This requires you to concentrate the story on education and informing the public of the situation and the dream.
Prove your mettle
Protecting your reputation by knowing how to fight your corner against unjust accusations and bringing others on board are both essential precursors to relaunching a career after a major setback. Ultimately the real win is when you show the world that you have not lost it, when you show that you can still perform at a reasonable or superior level. Only then will others begin to think of you as having the mettle to create victory over the calamity previously faced.
Of course, showing this mettle isn’t always that easy to do. Fallen leaders will have to face many barriers; that is where resilience comes in. One of the most significant barriers to recovery will be self-doubt. Doubt in their ability, given what has just happened. This is why I spend so much of my time talking about and writing about the mindset and its development in business leadership. You truly will become what you think about most, as mentioned numerous times, which is how it should be!
Resilience is about showing that you have what it takes to weather the storm and get back to the top of your game again. When you can do this, others will take you seriously and recognise that you have the mettle to triumph over the circumstances you are temporarily faced with. Some common characteristics can be identified in leaders who have shown the right spirit and weathered the storm. What did they do to get back on the job? How did they create their comeback?
Speed
You need to decide quickly how you will fight back to limit the damage to your reputation. Pyrrhic victories are to be avoided as they will just hurt you more by drawing attention to the accusations against you. So the first tip is, take quick but well thought out action.
Recruit others
Don’t fight the good fight alone. Your friends and family can provide comfort and hopefully some perspective in your time of need. Don’t forget the power of the acquaintance too.
Recover your charismatic status
Engage in a multilayer campaign to regain your reputation and restore your stature.
Prove your mettle
Overcome the insecurity and self-doubt. Prove to others and yourself that you have not lost your magic touch.
Rediscover your heroic mission
It is the single-minded pursuit of that clear mission and dream that sets great leaders apart. To recover from a major setback find a new heroic mission that will renew your passion and create new meaning in your life.
More on your mission
I would say that most great leaders build a legacy that will last beyond their lifetime. Something meaningful, like making an organisation that advances society or helps others do that. Within such missions, you will find remarkable resilience from set-back and naysayers. The resilience shown plays a more significant than you may realise role in success. Clarity of mission and the unswerving desire to make it a reality is a big part of this picture.
Resiliance is about recharge
We often misinterpret the meaning of resilience; this is certainly something I have done in the past, mainly due to the picture the word resilience would paint in my imagination post my military career. It is not about how long you can tough it out in challenging circumstances. It is about balance.
By default, that brings into play the need for recovery time. Without recovery time, you will, in fact, retard the development of resilience. Research has illustrated many examples and empirical proof that a lack of recovery time leads to more instances of poor health, poor mental health and more incidents related to health and safety—this recovery is related to sleep, downtime, short brakes and moments of contemplation. Even the constant activity of looking at our phones has a role in decreasing our ability to be resilient.
It is also worth noting that just because work stops, this does not mean that we are recovering. many stop work but still spend time working through the day’s issues and looking for solutions and ideas ready for what invariably comes along next in the work routine.
The key to resilience is, in fact, working really hard and then stopping; I mean stopping. Recovering and then starting again after some proper rest. This may sound familiar; you work hard all day and then when you get home, knowing that you need to rest, you turn in early. But sleep does not come easily, and you lay awake thinking about your issues at work. This goes on for some time, increasing the problem.
Eventually, when you do fall asleep, you wake the following day rested but still feeling like you need more. This is not the kind of recovery I am referring to. Proper recovery looks a little different to this. Proper recovery is perhaps best achieved when you can commit to shorter periods of relaxation that take place within the workday. These can be short scheduled or unscheduled breaks by shifting attention or taking on other tasks when you are feeling depleted doing the job in hand.
This does not mean you cannot embark on external work recovery. This refers to free time spent doing things that are not work-related that allow you the time to divert your attention and therefore, aid recovery. Laying on your bed stressing about the day is not recovery!
“The one thing to remember about resilience is your understanding of the fact that you are the only one who has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.”
Chris Batten Author The 7C’s of Why